As I said in my last post, community building is simple... well...at least, it should be. My neighbor was working on installing a privacy fence last week and it serves as an excellent example for something I am learning lately. Now before you run and tell my neighbor that I'm opposed to privacy fences, I'm not (especially when they are done well), but fences can be well intended with unintended consequences. However, fences represent somewhat contrasting concepts that are both essential and dangerous to communities...Limitations & Comfort.Fences are curious things as they can beautifully define a neighborhood, create a very decorative border to a yard, and guide guests through ornate entrances, thus creating a clear sense of place. Their designs are as unique as the homes and properties they encompass. I must admit I've always admired the field stone walls built by highland farmers as they cleared their fields for crops. The way they organically flow along the ridges and valleys as if they almost grew there over the centuries. Made from the earth they protect and define.
But in our everyday lives fences are primarily used to protect our most valuable earthly things: home, property, children, privacy, pets (in no particular order). These corrals of wood, metal, and stone are erected to set accurate limitations, establish maintenance expectations, keep what is valuable within our sight, and to prevent the threats of outside forces from impacting us. Fences keep our worlds defined and our resources focused. (Deut. 27:17)
To the at-risk, fences are a comforting boundary, but to the risk taker the same fences stand as prohibitive barriers to success. This reason being the reason my neighbor placed his fence up, to protect their new puppy from running away. However in the process, he created an attractive feature to his home that improves the appearance of the neighborhood. Somewhere between the safety within and the limits of the fences we find the old adage to be true at times, "good fences make good neighbor" by creating good, safe spaces. Relationships have similar boundaries they define, protect, welcome, and comfort us as we interact. The more frequent and longer the interaction the faster those boundaries are defined and often redefined to meet the needs of the relationship. But this boundary movement can be encouraged but must be mutual. As Deuteronomy 27:17 says, have you been guilty of moving boundaries that aren't yours to move? Maybe it was a joke, or advice, or a degrading comment, or an unkept secret. But when boundaries are not respected, conflict and confusion develop and the relationship can crumble. The fence serves as a reminder to slow down and respect the boundary, to be considerate, and move with tact for the sake of the relationship.
It is in the comfort of these boundaries can we learn to appreciate the beauty of the physical and social fences in our lives. Without them, would be like playing baseball without a field. With them, we have the opportunity to swing for the fence, chat with a neighbor, and build lasting relationships.
