I was asked yesterday my thoughts on how to stop the mass shootings, particularly at schools, short of "world peace, spiritual revival, and extensive gun control." This is not an area that I approach lightly, with so many families effected by gun violence. I also know I'm not a mental health professional, but I know communities pretty well. There are several common things I see in mass school shootings that we all can have a role in changing.
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1) Lonely guys:
Almost every perpetrator of mass shootings was a male viewed as an "outsider, quiet guy, someone who kept to himself, or had a few friends." This pattern has been repeated for the last 20 years. While it is a dangerous stereotype to create (being one of those quiet guys in school), it is an important one to understand.
We need more caring adults in the lives of our youth. We need greater spiritual, emotional, and developmental support of youth. Our churches need a transformative presence in our communities, our communities need meaningful relationships, and our families need interconnected networks. Families, churches, schools, and community cannot do it alone, this is a fight for every youth, both victim and perpetrator.
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2) Relationship Corruption:
These perpetrators tend to be young men who have had issues with developing and maintaining relationship, more than the average teen. These tend to be heterosexual males, most often they have recently broken up with a girlfriend, been rejected by a girl, or warped expectations of relationships with women. Again and again, these young guys choose to deal with heartbreak, rejection, and frustration through violent expressions.
We need better examples, better media, and better relationships. I don't expect a "Leave it to Beaver" world, but we lack good media examples of families with values. Our youth are looking for leaders, for men (and women) who can guide and encourage them, invest in their lives, care for their souls, and create a brighter future. We need stronger families that teach how to deal with frustration and disappointment aside from violence or separation. We need better media that doesn't objectify women and glorify sexuality, that doesn't, in the same broadcast, talk about a violent crime against women and then discuss the latest celebrity's body modification or photo scandal. If journalism is to be respected again, publish meaningful news. Lastly, we need better school systems that allow for more creative outlets and teach kids how to express them selves in other more acceptable ways. We need sports, play, arts, and entertainment opportunities for our youth. We need funding for these "non-core" courses that can make all the difference with our youth.
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3) Weaponized Violence:
These mass shootings have just that, guns. I do believe that law-abiding citizens have the right to carry guns. I know that gun laws do impact those citizens the most and gangs still get guns. What we have a problem with is our culture of guns. Most perpetrators obtained guns legally, as youth, or had access to them in their homes, despite warning signs and behavioral alerts. Many had a "fascination" with guns, violence, or studied mass shootings. There are few of these that happen as stabbings, drivings, or smashings... these are shootings, guns must be addressed.
I won't open this debate up here too much, but I cannot address shootings without addressing the tool used to create them. We need more supervision and limitation over youth access to guns. I get that it is culture and that it has not been my family's culture. Those with founded mental issues, should not have access to guns. Those that do not secure their weapons and have them stolen, should probably lose their access to guns. Also, guns aren't cars, cars were made for transportation, guns were made to kill, we have to have policy that addresses them as such. We have had shootings in all corners of the country, with all sorts of backgrounds, this is a gun culture issue. We have to address the issue and not shy away from the tough and meaningful discussion. We cannot just use anecdotes, stories, and fears of government take over to frame the conversation, but that this is real and meaningful issue in our community. We must be willing to put aside our beliefs about guns and find real solutions. We have to start to love our youth more than our guns.
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This isn't a conversation for everyone, but is one that we have to have. I share this because it is on my mind and heart. It is time for our churches to see our real need for community revival, our families to become beacons in our neighborhoods, and our schools to become sacred community ground to be protected and supported. This is possible, but we have to be willing to go the extra mile, to invest ourselves, and to take risks forming new relationships.
