Healthy Families - Our Top Priority in Virginia


I have an urgent personal request for those who care about families and children throughout the state. 


I am a new board member on Hampton's Healthy Families Partnership Inc. the non-profit resource arm of Hampton's Healthy Families Partnership that provides prenatal support, parenting education, an in home services to hundreds of families throughout Hampton.

However, the programs are facing funding reductions from the State for a third consecutive year.The House Budget Committee has proposed to divert sales tax revenues to transportation projects rather than look at raising the fixed gas tax after almost 20 years or looking at other funding options.

I believe this short-sighted approach to cutting one of the most successful prevention programs in the entire state to fund transportation needs will only lead to greater burdens on our communities through treatment, intervention, and rehabilitation programs in the next 10 years. It is impossible to dispute the power of a healthy start for our children in seeing our communities and even our country continue to be leaders within the world. Parenting and early childhood education are some of the key factors in bringing the crime rate to lowest it has been in decades, seeing more students college bound, and having a region who's economy has weathered the recession better than many others. Stable and strong families are the key to stable and strong community and  Healthy Families is the leading agency in providing services to ensure that.



Here is why I believe deeply in this organization's unique role in the community. 

  • They provide research based information and support that faith-based organizations cannot provide such as prenatal education preparing parents for labor and delivery. They can also leverage broad community resources, regardless of denomination, to support the neediest in our community.
  • They help create support networks for numerous military families that don't have family nearby. They provide educational offerings and by create safe places for parents, grandparents and children to interact and learn. 
  • They offer prevention services to families from all backgrounds, income levels, and situations, with a proven track record for success (See this example from Lynchburg)
Personally, they provided Rachel and I excellent information and support both prior to and through the sudden loss of our first child and in preparing for the birth of of our son. I also have many friends who have benefited from their programming, from classes, support groups, play groups, to new parent visits.

I ask that you to simply contact one of the Virginia Delegates below by either email or phone. I called yesterday on my way home from work, it is as easy as that. Our delegates need to hear from you and know that they need to restore the funding to the Healthy Family programs before our communities see more major set backs in prevention services. Below is a list of House Budget Conferees that I was provided:



House Budget Conferees
Del. Lacey Putney
804-698-1019
Del. Kirk Cox
804-698-1066
Del. Chris Jones
804-698-1076
Del. Steve Landes
804-698-1025
Del. Beverly Sherwood
804-698-1029
Del. Johnny Joannou
NO EMAIL  Fax # 804-786-6310
804-698-1079

When calling please ask them to:
"Please support restoration of funding for Healthy Families. Cutting funding for these programs puts more Virginia children at risk."  Please do your small part to ensure the future of the families in our communities are a little brighter.

More Information on Hampton's Healthy Families Partnership:

State of the Christian Union

I've found it quite interesting lately, as the election season shifts into high gear, concerning the dialogue my fellow Christians choose to engage in, the reasoning behind their support of specific candidates, and their general belief on the "true" State of the Union.
  • Again and again the conversation I hear returns to the social concerns of today's American society - Marriage, Abortion, Social Welfare, Family Values, Broadcast Decency, Ethics. 
  • This is often coupled with a sound-bite driven summary of fiscal issues - Overspending, Earmarks, Taxation, Economic Inequality, International Support, National Debt, Job Creation, Recession, Trade Agreements. 
  • With a smattering of ethical issues - Campaign Financing, Career Politicians, Cronyism, Lobbyist Interest, Pork Barrel Spending, Party (Dis-)Loyalty, Redistricting. 
On the eve of the President's State of the Union address tonight, I offer my own insight if you choose to care. So I guess you could call the rest of this rather lengthy post my...


 "State of the Christian Union"


These are all very valuable topics for discussion that need to be addressed through informed and respectful dialogue. I argue that we must not focus on the legislation or a political solution but on a "soul-ution." We must make this a matter of salvation not of legislation. Doing so we can understand how to address complex, urgent issues of government including finances, ethics, and national defense. 


In fact, in doing some self examination I have begun to believe that I would have a hard time ever being elected to office. (Aside from not being independently wealthy and unable to finance such a campaign of my own) I have accepted that I tend to be, what some would call, a moderate independent when it comes to my political affiliation. I think my views on government finances and oversight paired with my concern for conservative social values would not garner me many votes on ethical issues alone, especially from my closest Christian family and non-Christian co-workers.


This has caused me to profoundly question why that would be? Why would a fellow christian ever support me for an office? What platform would I campaign on? Then an even deeper question arose, what should be the political conversation for Christians?


I think that after 232 years since the ratification of the Constitution, and long before, Christians have wrestled with the proper role of religion for our governing leaders. We appear to continue to be divided between finding a good national political leader and a good Christian. It seems these are often mutually exclusive because of our own political expectations. 


We often look to these leaders to be steadfast, to never change, to never compromise and we label that conviction. I will discuss this later but I fundamentally disagree with the concept that a good Christian leader does not change. If they do not change, they do not learn. If they do not fail, they do not grow. If they do not understand the true essence of compromise, how can they ever build a spirit of unity or make any progress? (See Forbes article on Failed Executive Habits for a good example)


It also seems to me that too often we are looking towards legislation to shape and define our country, to "save" our country as some have said. To many Christians, the social concerns of today are dangerously and irreparably close to impacting our country's future. As a result, they look to enact or preserve legislation that prevents or criminalizes certain activities. However, I argue that addressing these social issues through legislation does not make our culture a Christian one, it does not lead to cultural revival. We must remember that legislation does not save souls and we, as Christian, are called to be servants and soul winners first and citizens last.


The fundamental issue is a soul issue. The state of our society isn't a result of us having laws that are more permissive, secular, or tolerant. Our society is suffering from a heart condition of the spiritual kind and until we as Christians can stop focusing on the legislation and start focusing on the salvation of those around us we will never see true revival or change in our society. Our government is a reflection of the people - disengaged, dependent, and discouraged. If we hope to see America regain it's old glory,  hope and respect within the domestic and international community we must work to turn hearts to the One who made America that way.


We have failed in our political conversation. We have been captured by vain philosophies of politics and debate and have lost the dignity of our calling. The abortion rate, marriage rate, domestic violence rate, drug use, and public assistance rates are all directly related to health of the family. Our churches are failing to build strong families in the current day and age. We have to get intentional about our work. We cannot rely on Sunday's and Wednesdays to sustain families. We cannot look to Pastors and Deacons alone to counsel and support our families. We cannot wait until a couple is separated to try and intervene (or tolerate the "taking of sides"). The most important ministry in a church has to be the ministry to families, hands down. Without it, churches will fail, society will crumble, America will lose all favor. Research has shown that how much you make has a greater impact on preventing divorce than being involved in a church. This has to change, there is no losing or coming up short here if we want to see America remain a Christian nation.


This can no longer be a Red vs Blue, Tea vs Occupy, Conservative vs Liberal debate. We have to make this a salvation conversation. Just as we don't expect a stranger to love your family, we cannot expect unsaved and spiritually lost to live, govern, or vote like Christians either. I'm not calling for an authoritarian government where political leaders must act and live like Christians, rather I'm calling upon Christians to act and live like authentic Christians and accept their first call and turn to their first love.


I call for a revival, a wildfire of the Holy Spirit to spread in hearts and minds of believers and unbelievers. 


Start with prayer.
Pray continually, for those hurting and those rejoicing.

  • A Healthy Body
    Pray for the body of Christ, pray that we are healed with a common cause under a common banner of revival. Pray for a unified effort, one of truth, righteousness, hope, and love. 
    Pray for those who have turned away, who are blind and have forgotten their sins forgiven and cannot see afar off. Pray for thanksgiving, rejoicing in the blessing and gifts of our Father, his mercy, his grace, his providential and omnipotent hand upon us. 
  • God-lead Leadership
    Pray for our current political leadership, their wisdom, their peace, their love of God. 
    Pray for our spiritual leaders that they are protected and guided by God, encouraged and surrounded by a hedge of caring believers, their families blessed with patience, understanding, and love.
Start with the Bible. Read, study, meditate, learn. 
  • Be Ready
    As Daniel and the young captives of Israel, we must put ourselves wholly to learning of the one we serve. We must be ready to lead, to govern, to minister as the princes and rulers of the King of Kings. But before we can govern others, we must learn to rule our own souls. How can I be changed or improved if I don't know anything is lacking? 
  • Be Challenged
    Our country continues to turn to the scriptures for comfort and encouragement in times of 
    despair but not for correction. I cannot slight anyone because I know my own struggles with spiritual growth and repentance. I would choose to taste of the sweet honey of the word than drink the bitter tea of my convictions. 
  • Be Sharpened
    Challenge and sharpen one another in the Bible, we must train as any athlete or champion to prepare for the race and calling ahead. Without this training we will come up short every time. We must look to new training practices, new approaches, new techniques to make us ready to answer anyone on the reason for the hope within us. 
  • Be Current
    Athletes are constantly looking for tools, techniques that will give them the edge in their training and we must be doing the same. We must take advantage of this modern age of technology and information to spread the gospel farther, faster, broader than any other time in history.
Start with the church. Share, listen, love, encourage, uplift, humble, and forgive. We cannot move if we continue to draw lines and divisions, build up comforting barriers, dig our heels into illusions of tradition. 
  • A Strong Body We must learn to live as a body, learn to disagree and move on, learn to find agreement and capitalize on it, build on our strengths and strengthen our weaknesses. For far to long we have let ourselves get in the way of ourselves and the work God has planned for us. We have to get our own house in order before we can expect our nation to do so. If we have a hard time budgeting for a year and conducting business together how do we expect 300 million Americans to come together to secure our future? This starts with communication and structure. We need to start communicating and stop avoiding conflict. Our avoidance of the conflicts have created much more strife and bitterness than ever needs to be within the body of Christ. A relationship that has not worked through conflict at some point is like a ship's hull that has not been tried before it launched, as soon as a storm arises, it breaks apart.  We cannot be afraid to ask the tough questions, have the tough conversations, and know that the relationship we have in Christ is greater then our struggles, it is greater then our conflict.
  • A Connected Body
    We must work together, the body of Christ is not divided by cities and we must learn to embrace others outside of our walls and learn from them. We must sharpen our skills both from within our local fellowships and from outside of them. This is how we strengthen the joints that Christ connects and supplies. Without those connections we cannot hope to see the gospel spread if we continue to contain it within our own comfortable circles. We must be bold and speak in the synagogues as Paul did, we must go to the people, we must seek them out and bring them into the fold. (Join the God Bless America Crusade - Hampton, VA, Feb1-3)
  • A Growing Body
    First-time visitors and new converts should not be a surprise to our churches but expected at every gathering. We must prepare for growth, position ourselves to be overflowing with new believers. What is the capacity of your church and are you ready to grow? What is your growth plan? Are you praying and preparing for when God will provide an answer?
Ultimately our conversation has to change. This can no longer be about the politics of the day, because they will continue to exist as long as we fail to fulfill our first calling and commission: 19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: 20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen. (Matt 28:19-20)

Will you take up my challenge and change our conversation and turn to our first love and first calling. God has promised results, we need to do our part: 14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land. (2 Chr 7:14)

The Right People or The Best Planning


2011 Day Of Caring (Hampton, VA)
I had the privilege a couple of months ago to participate in a one-day housing rehab blitz that rallied over 200 volunteers to spruce up over 25 homes in a 5 block radius, in less than 8 hours. I was blessed with working as the on-site logistics coordinator for the event (I was given this task less than 1 week before the event). Regardless of communication and logistical challenges that this project faced early on, the event was a relative success: several residents received a much needed hand, volunteers we able to give to their community, the local housing stock receive a touch up, and the community benefited from a sense of care and concern during tough times. I learned a very valuable lesson from this project that serves as a continual reminder for how we do community building. I realized that good planning means little when you have great people involved. I could have planned and prepared for most challenges, had plans B through Z lined up, but without motivated and passionate people fueling the initiative, it would grind to a halt.


Good planning serves an important purpose: to be prepared for issues, barriers, or challenges and enabling us to capitalize our assets in overcoming them. However, great people are the key to moving any good plan forward. Great people overcome challenges and can give of themselves beyond your expectations. Instead of watching the clock they monitor progress. These are the people that see challenging times as a time to support and thrive rather than a time to simply survive.


Many accomplished authors have tried to unlock the secrets to building a great team of such people, so I won't even attempt to start. However, I have experienced, in the last few years, the real and tangible power of social capital in moving projects forward. Social capital, in a nutshell, is the intangible currency that we trade through our relationships, a sort of relational spending money. To me social capital is the currency that is used to motivate, compel, inspire, or even guilt others into action. When social capital is used well, it serves as the conductor of win-win solutions and partnerships. When dealt through malice or ignorance, it corrodes the structure of the relationship, often leading to guilt, regret, or mistrust. I admit that the mastering of using social capital eludes me as it seems some are natural wielders of it, whereas, others, such as I, have to develop their skills in applying it appropriately. (see Romans 12 - especially verse 20)


I believe we need to reconsider the power of people over planning and social capital over financial reserves. Each are important in any organization in their proper place, but focusing on developing great people will lead to greater returns on any investment.

Essential Community Involvement (Part 2)

As I said in my last post, community building is simple... well...at least, it should be. My neighbor was working on installing a privacy fence last week and it serves as an excellent example for something I am learning lately. Now before you run and tell my neighbor that I'm opposed to privacy fences, I'm not (especially when they are done well), but fences can be well intended with unintended consequences. However, fences represent somewhat contrasting concepts that are both essential and dangerous to communities...Limitations & Comfort.

Fences are curious things as they can beautifully define a neighborhood, create a very decorative border to a yard, and guide guests through ornate entrances, thus creating a clear sense of place. Their designs are as unique as the homes and properties they encompass. I must admit I've always admired the field stone walls built by highland farmers as they cleared their fields for crops. The way they organically flow along the ridges and valleys as if they almost grew there over the centuries. Made from the earth they protect and define.
But in our everyday lives fences are primarily used to protect our most valuable earthly things: home, property, children, privacy, pets (in no particular order). These corrals of wood, metal, and stone are erected to set accurate limitations, establish maintenance expectations, keep what is valuable within our sight, and to prevent the threats of outside forces from impacting us. Fences keep our worlds defined and our resources focused. (Deut. 27:17)

To the at-risk, fences are a comforting boundary, but to the risk taker the same fences stand as prohibitive barriers to success. This reason being the reason my neighbor placed his fence up, to protect their new puppy from running away. However in the process, he created an attractive feature to his home that improves the appearance of the neighborhood. Somewhere between the safety within and the limits of the fences we find the old adage to be true at times, "good fences make good neighbor" by creating good, safe spaces. Relationships have similar boundaries they define, protect, welcome, and comfort us as we interact. The more frequent and longer the interaction the faster those boundaries are defined and often redefined to meet the needs of the relationship. But this boundary movement can be encouraged but must be mutual. As Deuteronomy 27:17 says, have you been guilty of moving boundaries that aren't yours to move? Maybe it was a joke, or advice, or a degrading comment, or an unkept secret. But when boundaries are not respected, conflict and confusion develop and the relationship can crumble. The fence serves as a reminder to slow down and respect the boundary, to be considerate, and move with tact for the sake of the relationship.

It is in the comfort of these boundaries can we learn to appreciate the beauty of the physical and social fences in our lives. Without them, would be like playing baseball without a field. With them, we have the opportunity to swing for the fence, chat with a neighbor, and build lasting relationships.

Essential Community Involvement

Wow, what a couple of years it has been. I didn't realize a second child, a departmental reorganization, and across the board layoffs would be this taxing on me in 2010 and almost all of 2011. I hope to focus a bit more on writing and sharing some of the great moments of enlightenment and inspiration that have occurred in that time. Hope you find it all as helpful as I have. So on to a thought that has been hammered home lately...

Community involvement is extremely, extremely simple...except when it is not. I believe it all starts with pride and humility. These are two opposite ideas that when balanced and directed appropriately, can be very powerful:


  • Pride...
    In my home:
    The first step is taking pride in my home. I say home because it encompasses a lot and isn't limited to those who own their property ("Renters are neighbors too").

    It is the concept of home - the building, the family, the children, the pets, the possessions, the place, the block, the playground, the school, the civic club, the church, the community- that fosters the greatest sense of pride and almost always results in a greater level of care.

    Often it is difficult to encourage a "sense of home" in a community where the average person moves every 5 years (according to a local planner). This mean that in one childhood the average youth would have been in 4 different homes or communities and the average adult could be in over 10 communities by the time they retire. Trying to quickly establish a "sense of home" and build pride in where you live is vitally important. Connecting residents from the time they move in and through their local traditions and culture are key to weaving the community together.

    In my community:
    When one cares about something they are willing to make sacrifices to care for it or achieve it. The same is for a community. How many business have you walked in and known right away that they had no pride in what that did? Did you stay or go somewhere else? Did you come back? This happens in communities all the time.

    If you have pride in your community it shows and others can see it as well. You also care about the others in your community and their well being because ultimately it affects your own quality of life in a neighborhood. But pride in a community is diverse, complex, and simple. It it shown in many unique ways and it can be shown in the simplest ways - Mowing the grass regularly, not parking in the middle of the yard, keeping the house up, planting flowers, sharing tools, sharing stories, or even just a simple greeting.

  • Humility...
    In my lifestyle
    A humble approach to life and the things of life can transform our communities. When we possess a  mind of personal humility it leads us to exhibit true contentment. I'm not talking about the contentment of place or soul but being content with material things and able to give to improve your community.


    In my networks
    The idea of "no greater love has any man than he lay down his life for his friends" does not mean that we have to die to show love. What it refers to is having a humble spirit of giving. In other words, i will give up my ambitions, my pride to help others achieve their dreams. In doing this collectively we can achieve far greater things than if we push to move forward and leave others behind. Capitalism teaches us the reward for hard work, Socialism reminds us of the needs of others who face far greater challenges.  Each is not exclusive of the other but we require a balanced and fair approach in a high functioning civil society. 

Who are the People in Your Neighborhood?

I recently presented at the Virginia Statewide Neighborhood Conference on the power of Community Stakeholders. The core message was that "resources exist in communities to do great things but knowing the networks and how to access them are key." We explored how to breakdown the traditional gatekeeper barriers and look for key trust agents that can serve as advocates for your community initiatives. Below is the link to the Prezi that I used. The accompanying group activity will be added later but you can see the instructions in the presentation. Feel free to share and tailor it for your own group.




I couldn't post this presentation without a quick shout out to my first civic engagement mentor: Bob from Sesame Street...

Hampton's "True" Civic Engagment model



So we (the Neighborhood Office) are exploring this year what "true" Civic engagement is, what our most effective role should be within the city, and how we can strengthen neighborhoods in Hampton. No small task by any stretch. To really understand what we need to do we have to understand what has been done.

The work that was started here over 15 years ago to find better ways for citizens and government to work together (in partnership), was revolutionary at the time. The early 90's in Hampton saw other revolutionary programs around drug prevention, positive youth development, healthy family, and youth in government. The city leaders (most being Hampton residents as well) knew that the city's work needed to be done differently. They no longer wanted to develop plans, programs, and policies, only for them to be opposed or resented by the citizens they were working to serve. Trust of local government was quite low.

The short story version was that the leaders gathered and agreed upon a new Neighborhood Initiative that would change the way decisions were made. No longer would a professional make a decision in isolation based on their best understanding. Now, those with the greatest interest in the decisions (residents, property, and business owners) would be the ones to influence the decisions through deliberative discussions.

This type of initiative was largely unheard of from within a local government and even today large metro areas are still slow to adapt true civic engagement principles. The local leaders had to use their best judgment and advice of the citizens they serve and create a new way of doing business in Hampton. From that a body of community leaders, institutional representatives, business leaders, and city leaders was appointed by the city council to strengthen our neighborhoods and affect positive change. Leaders worked with staff to shape the future of the city and establish long term plans. They begin to build networks of residents, organizations, and leaders that had an interest, a dream for a better community, a hope in the power of collaboration.

Through the years they saw many successes in safety (second/third safest city in Hampton Roads), youth (nationally recognized youth civic engagement initiative), community enhancement (over $1 mil given to neighborhoods for public improvement), leadership development (Youth Leadership Academy, Neighborhood College & Workshop Series), education (beautification, volunteerism, and leadership). But with all great initiatives, challenges with sustainability of innovation and motivation are always looming overhead.

So we find ourselves, especially as the economy and communication media have changed, we must look for the next revolutionary approach the allows for a sustainable approach. Very few of those that developed the vision of neighborhood partnership are still around today. Retirements, advancements, health, societal changes have left us with a fewer founding faces, forgotten history, old ways, and lots of new tools.

There are now numerous opportunities for the "re-invention," "re-energizing," and "re-adoption" of the founding principles of the original Neighborhood Initiative. However, challenges lie in identifying and energizing the new "trust agents" (from Chris Brogan) in the community, renewing a sense of hope in collaboration, and celebrating the amazing things that one small community can achieve with shared efforts.

Next Post: How simple is community involvement needed to make a positive change?

Awsome resource on community development!

 I was reading Janice Foster's blog (Grassroots Grantmaking) and saw a publication from Indianapolis that might be of use.

What an awesome resource! Well worth the read and definitely deserves sharing for any neighborhood or community leader. The material applies to multiple areas and fields of work. Definitely a worthwhile resource!

Support through Ownership to Improve Effectiveness (Part 2)

A brief follow-up to the last post. Once we have ownership established, meaning the ones who have the greatest investment in results of the activity are activily involved in the entire planning process, then you move from an object or a resource and into a partnership role.  This is most commonly seen in youth development models of youth participation in programing. The result is a program that lasts because the participants are also partners in the process. They are integral in planning, designing, implementing, and evaluating a program or ministry.

Do you go with what is often comfortable which often isn't as effective? Do you take the time to find the key stakeholders and develop a much more effective product? 

I have always heard that in community building you have to go slow to go fast and far. This reminds us that often the process can be taxing and time consuming in the front but the results will be a much more efficient and effective product for the community that you serve. If I only include those in my own circle of influence then the circle of my ministry or work will never grow. 

I must use the social capital with the circles I am connected so that they can expand my influence to their own unique circles. But if I wait to include them at the end just to tell them what to do or where to be when, then I will inevitablly only recieve mediocre fruit for the my work. Thus, ownership of the process, the implementation, evaluation and celebration will result in a much more effective product. I must be reminded that I don't work for my boss or my paycheck but I work for the citizens, the youth, my neighbors, my friends, my family. If I don't do my job well, then they are the ones who will suffer for my bad decisions. I must take ownership of as well as offer it. Ownership builds responsibility, creates effectiveness, enhances our work.

Support through Ownership to Improve Effectiveness (Part 1)

I haven't posted as regularly because I've been busy at work and at church lately. It has been interesting to me how one concept has been reaffirmed repeatedly in the last two weeks. That concept is the essential key to community building, at the heart of democracy, and is one of the most powerful tools in building an organization, a movement, or community. 

The concept of creating support through building ownership come from 2 principles - 
  1. Those most impacted by decisions should be involved in the decisions impacting them
  2. Self-sacrifice and giving creates a greater level of ownership and involvement.
The importance here is that when we are given the opportunity to...
  1. be involved from the beginning, 
  2. give of our time, talent or other resources, and 
  3. take an active role in decisions surrounding that activity or group, 
...then we tend to be committed longer, give more than we would have, and see more value in the results. 

Imagine I ask someone to do a construction job but share no vision with them, no blue prints, and no sketches. Then we wonder why the project didn't succeed or to level of quality we wanted. This happens all too often in community building. We as organizers, planners, leaders, decision makers treat people as recipients of our service rather than resources in the process. 

Many times we treat participants or members as if we are the Jordan river and they are the "Dead Sea" - the most mineral rich body of water on earth. We pour in resources and time (minerals/nutrients) and then expect them to miraculously take leadership or support our cause (growth/life). The reality is we have just saturated them with minerals and because there is no outlet for those resources to be shared or absorbed. 

The key message, in this Part 1 on Ownership, is that we cannot expect people to be involved because of us or our resources, we are replaceable. The most effective way to get others involved is because of their own self interest. We are our best motivators, our self interest is why we get involved and rarely will we do something because others want us to do it. Call it human nature, the flesh, or capitalism, the "what's in it for me" holds a powerful role in the programs, initiatives or ministries we manage. Capitalizing on it in a honorable and intentional way will advance our activities immensely.

Part 2 - Ownership to Citizenship to a stronger Community